I like gay guys

Posted March 30, Reviewed by Jessica Schrader. Francis Xavier University. Can men and women ever just be friends? A recent study published in Psychological Science has attempted to answer this question by exploring the differences in how friendships develop between women and men as a function of the man's sexual identity.

In other words, they examined how friendship development varies based on whether a straight woman is making friends with a gay man or a straight man. Past research has shown that straight women and gay men form close relationships due to an apparent increased willingness to engage in intimate conversations 1.

Some have suggested that this may be because straight men and women are perceived as having less in common with each other compared to straight women and gay men 2. This explanation, however, is based on the stereotypical assumptions about gay men and femininity. Consequently, researchers at the University of Texas explored an alternate potential explanation: Straight women may develop friendships with gay men more easily than they do with straight men, because when interacting with gay men, the necessity of worrying about whether the potential friend will seek to gain sexual access to them has been removed from the equation 3.

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In other words, concerns about miscommunication over sexual interest may make straight women more hesitant when interacting with straight men. Two studies were conducted. The first asked women to predict their levels of comfort like engaging in hypothetical conversations with men. Participants were asked to gay sitting in a waiting room with a male stranger who initiated a conversation with them.

Initially, women provided ratings of how comfortable they would be interacting with this stranger based on a generic scenario in which they were unaware of the hypothetical man's sexual identity. Participants again indicated how comfortable they thought they would be while continuing to interact with the man after learning of his sexual identity either gay or straight.

The women reported greater comfort levels when interacting with gay men compared to straight men. They were more intimate, positive, and engaging, orientating their bodies towards the man, and their conversations lasted longer. This novel research provides insight into the development of friendships—both those between straight men and women, as well as gay men and straight women.

Thus, with respect to the original question of whether men and women can ever "just be friends," the answer may hinge on whether that man is gay or straight. If he is straight, anxiety and concern about his sexual intentions will delay the development of a trusting and close friendship, perhaps, in some cases, even indefinitely.

Friendship between gay men and heterosexual women: An interpretative phenomenological analysis. Gay stereotypes: The use of sexual orientation as a cue for gender-related attributes. Sex Roles, 61 Opposite-sex friendship: Sex differences and similarities in initiation, selection, and dissolution. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27 10 Women interact more comfortably and intimately with gay men—but not guy men—after learning their sexual orientation.

Psychological Science, 29 2 Western Journal of Communication, 69 4 Universal sex differences in the desire for sexual variety: Tests from 52 nations, 6 continents, and 13 islands.